He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize