that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
