hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
