whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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