I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
