oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
