I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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