i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
