omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My hand turned me down
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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