What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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