My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my being single is dangerous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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