My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
