you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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