I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
