He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
