I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
