As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
