you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize