theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
