I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He kissed a someone with a penis
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
