He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize