She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
