as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My vagina is officially offended.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
