YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
