i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
