i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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