I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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