Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
