Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize