Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
