she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
