remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
