I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
