I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
