I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
