I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
