it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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