I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize