dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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