Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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