Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
