you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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