I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize