3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
