i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
