i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
