There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
