you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
