I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this beer tastes like vomit already
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
