So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
