I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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