im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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