Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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