My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There was a lot of him and a little penis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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