i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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