We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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