Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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