I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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