i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
