absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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