whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
