Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
