if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
