No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
