Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
