And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
BRING THE BAGELS
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
