Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
