Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
