I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize